WRITE BETTER, EARN MORE! (Part 3 of 3) Nine Tips For Instantly Improving Your Marketing Copy

by Peter Bowerman

Over the past two issues, we’ve looked at 6 tips for better writing in any field, but especially relevant to improving your commercial work:

Write Like You Talk
Lose the Weak Words and Tone
Give Your Audience Credit
Make Every Word Pull Its Weight
Make Your Writing Disappear
Cadence Is Everything

Let’s get to the final three!

Start In the Middle

This device has become second nature to me, and given how easy a way it is to make writing more interesting, I’m not sure why it’s not used more than it is. Use it when writing articles – for newsletters or publications – or even marketing brochures.

Most writing jumps right into the “sell” copy:

Since 1989, ABC Digital has been offering state-of-the-art services for the creative industry…

Instead, drop the reader right into the middle of the story with a story:

It was 1992, and Joe Collins was miffed. The CEO of ABC Digital was in the midst of phone conversation with a client when he had an epiphany…

Then, once you’ve earned the reader’s attention, you can continue on with a more conventional approach. It’s more effective, it’s more interesting, and it’s a heckuva lot more fun to write. I don’t care how boring you think the topic is. There’s always an interesting angle you can take to spice it up. What’s so interesting about, say, plumbing? Well, do a little research on the trade. Who knows what trivia you might unearth? Or find out about the owner’s roots. The human angle can often dish up compelling anecdotes.

$50 Words Cheapen Writing

Let us ponder fine literary fiction for a moment, books like “The Grapes of Wrath,” “To Kill a Mockingbird,” “Bridget Jones’ Diary” (just checking ...). Needless to say, there are many factors that contribute to the making of a classic. Yet, to my mind, one of the most important is the ability to use ordinary, unadorned words and phrases — the building blocks of everyday speech from everyday people — to create extraordinary stories. It’s not much different from any other kind of writing, including our own humble field of commercial writing.

Read the following paragraph, from a brochure I did for a hospital community outreach program some years back. Could be improved, I imagine, but I think it works in conveying a story, without drawing too much attention to itself. I’m describing the activities of a woman who works with the outreach program.

Martha Graves walks the world of the forgotten elderly – people who are often alone and grieving. They grieve for the loss of a lifelong spouse, the loss of independence, and, most of all, the loss of their self-worth as a vital member of their community – which has moved on without them. It’s not glamorous work, and there are few “success stories.” Yet, Martha Graves knows the difference she’s making. Whether it’s a smile coaxed from a timeworn face or a thank you from a friend who needs so little – but needs it so much – her rewards come in small sweet packages.

Focus on the Reading, Not the Writing

This is an over-arching suggestion, under which arguably, all the other tips fall. And it has several meanings. The first of course, is a literal one – to focus on the sound and flow of the piece as it’s being read so that it reads naturally, free of excess words, awkward syntax or robotic rhythm. The second interpretation is more global – and it’s one I’ve been beating you over the head with all throughout this book and the last one. Always write with the reader in mind and try to appeal to that particular reader; don’t just focus on the words for their own sake.

Copyright 2005 Peter Bowerman. All rights reserved.

Peter Bowerman is the author of The Well-Fed Writer (2000), an award-winning Book-of-the-Month Club selection, and its companion volume, The Well-Fed Writer: Back For Seconds (from which the above article was adapted), both how-to “standards” in the field of commercial freelancing. A commercial writer, business coach and seminar leader in Atlanta, his client list includes Coca-Cola, BellSouth, IBM, UPS, Cingular, American Express, Mercedes-Benz, Junior Achievement and others. Visit www.wellfedwriter.comfor more info and to subscribe to his critically acclaimed free monthly ezine on commercial writing, THE WELL-FED E-PUB.