The Pen: Writing Tool or Jail Cell

Leave it to Martha Stewart to combine writing with a jail stint and come up with a projected multi-million dollar book deal, penning her memoirs about prison life. She’s the only person I know who digs for a pony when she is delivered a pile of manure.

The maven of creativity can take a “ratty” bed sheet and turn it into an elegant window dressing. While I bake cookies for Christmas, Martha creates hand-painted masterpieces that rival the Sistine Chapel. Her seven course meals are prepared with ingredients I can’t even pronounce and are presented on a table set with posh dinner ware that is color coordinated with everything from candles to casseroles.

My table is rustic…for all the holidays. Everyone who visits is always impressed with my table settings, especially when I include the spoon that just got rescued from the garbage disposal. You know, the silver spoon that looks a tad gnarled, bent and pitted after twirling around the blades a couple of times. But, the unintended piece de resistance is the manure clod that finds its way under my chair as it dislodges from my paddock boot during dinner. Guests definitely find that attractive.

The queen of clean and I both have something in common. We both love to write. Therein ends the similarity. Now, if I can only come up with a multi-million dollar book deal without going to prison, I’ll be ecstatic.

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