You Have to Listen to Network

By Regina Allen

Effective networking involves more than just approaching an editor or agent to pitch your manuscript, it involves listening. It doesn’t hurt to brush up on good communication skills, so increasingly rare in today’s fast-paced world.

For example, two years ago at a conference, a group in the middle of the lobby talked excitedly about a panelist at a recent session. Curious, I walked over to listen, join in and possibly offer my views. During the course of the conversation, one person continuously interrupted his colleagues, finished their sentences, disagreed with just about everyone’s comments and talked as if he knew everything on the subject. I heard exasperated sighs, saw one person roll his eyes in his head and a few shaking of heads. One by one, people drifted away until he was alone in the middle of the crowded lobby. By interrupting his fellow colleagues (and, possibly, editors or agents), this person felt his words were more important than others. He heard his colleagues but failed to listen to their comments or notice their body language displaying frustration and annoyance.

If you meet an editor or agent and enter into a conversation, refrain from dominating the talk. Bring the other person into the conversation by asking his opinion, views or advice on the topic. Keep eye contact as much as possible and nod occasionally so the person knows you are listening. Also, restrain yourself from interrupting the talk. One reason people cut speakers off in mid-talk is they’ve formulated answers in their heads, anticipating the speaker’s next words. Unless you have ESP, quiet your mind. A lot of misunderstanding comes from assuming to know what the person will say before he speaks.

Another reason for interrupting is people tend to be judgmental when they’re knowledgeable on a topic. Believing the speaker is wrong or uninformed is, in my opinion, arrogant. Everyone has an opinion. It’s important to let the person express his opinion. Refrain from judgment, if you can, and listen.

Body language speaks loud and clear to humans. Ever see someone’s eyes glaze over when a speaker is long-winded? Eyes roll to the back of the head? A sigh? These are just a few cues to look for while conversing. If this happens, ask the person if he’d like a drink or pick up the conversation later. If the person wants to talk later, work out a time and give him your business card or write down your information on a note card. It’s always possible the person is tired and just needs a little time to rest.

To network effectively at a conference, keep conversations two-way instead of one-way, keep an open mind, refrain from judgment and watch body language. Agents, editors and writers remember the person who listened tothem instead of the person who drove away his colleagues.

Regina Allen is a fiction writer who lives in Exeter, Rhode Island with her cat, Isis. She is a member of the Speculative Literature Foundation, www.speculativeliterature.org. Currently, Regina is working on a science fiction novella and collaborating on a medical thriller with suspense author, Joel Ross (www.joelross.net). You can send information on conferences, retreats or workshops with two months’ advance notice at regall649@msn.com.

National

WOW! Women on Writing Conference
San Bruno, California, March 5, 2005
The conference will celebrate International Women’s Day
For early bird admission of $60 apply by January 28; General admission:  $60.
For more information contact: WOW! Women on Writing Conference, Skyline College,
3300 College Drive, Room 1317, San Bruno, CA 94066
Telephone: (650) 738-4324
Website: http://www.smccd.net/accounts/skywow

Minnesota Northwood Writers Conference
Bemidji, Minnesota, June 19-24, 2005
Conference fee:  $425; early registration:  $399
The workshops are limited to thirteen participants, evening readings, one-on-one consultations and more. The conference focuses on fiction, poetry, creative nonfiction and scriptwriting.
For more information contact:  Minnesota Northwoods Writers Conference (MNWC) Bemidji State University Box 04, 1500 Birchmont Drive NE, Bemidji, MN 56601-2699
Telephone:  (218) 755-2068
Email:  writersconference@bemidjistate.edu
Website:  http://www.bemidjistate.edu/writersconference

Sandhills Writers Conference
Augusta, Georgia, March 17-19, 2005
Reserve by February 4. The conference includes manuscript critiques, workshops, craft sessions and lectures.
For more information contact: Anthony Kellman, Augusta State University,
2500 Walton Way, Augusta, GA 30904
Telephone:  (706) 737-1500
Email: akellman@aug.edu
Website: http://www.sandhills.aug.edu

Robert Frost Poetry Festival
Key West, FL, April 15-17, 2005
The festival includes a poetry workshop and contests.
For more information, contact:  Heritage House Museum, 410 Caroline Street,
Key West, FL 33040
Website: http://www.heritagehousemuseum.org

International

Writers’ Week in Iceland
May 26-June 3, 2005 and June 6-June 14, 2005
Fees:  $2,850 single, $2,950 double, $700 deposit due March 5
For information contact: Iceland Writers’ Week, P.O. Box 187, Minnesota, MN 56264
Telephone: (507) 872-6950
Website: http://www.icelandworkshops.com
Email: icelandworkshop@yahoo.com