You Have to Listen to Network
By
Regina Allen
Effective
networking involves more than just approaching an editor or agent to
pitch your manuscript, it involves listening. It doesn’t hurt to brush
up on good communication skills, so increasingly rare in today’s
fast-paced world.
For example, two
years ago at a conference, a group in the middle of the lobby talked
excitedly about a panelist at a recent session. Curious, I walked over
to listen, join in and possibly offer my views. During the course of
the conversation, one person continuously interrupted his colleagues,
finished their sentences, disagreed with just about everyone’s comments
and talked as if he knew everything on the subject. I heard exasperated
sighs, saw one person roll his eyes in his head and a few shaking of
heads. One by one, people drifted away until he was alone in the middle
of the crowded lobby. By interrupting his fellow colleagues (and,
possibly, editors or agents), this person felt his words were more
important than others. He heard his colleagues but failed to listen to
their comments or notice their body language displaying frustration and
annoyance.
If you meet an editor or
agent and enter into a conversation, refrain from dominating the talk.
Bring the other person into the conversation by asking his opinion,
views or advice on the topic. Keep eye contact as much as possible and
nod occasionally so the person knows you are listening. Also, restrain
yourself from interrupting the talk. One reason people cut speakers off
in mid-talk is they’ve formulated answers in their heads, anticipating
the speaker’s next words. Unless you have ESP, quiet your mind. A lot
of misunderstanding comes from assuming to know what the person will
say before he speaks.
Another
reason for interrupting is people tend to be judgmental when they’re
knowledgeable on a topic. Believing the speaker is wrong or uninformed
is, in my opinion, arrogant. Everyone has an opinion. It’s important to
let the person express his opinion. Refrain from judgment, if you can,
and listen.
Body language speaks
loud and clear to humans. Ever see someone’s eyes glaze over when a
speaker is long-winded? Eyes roll to the back of the head? A sigh?
These are just a few cues to look for while conversing. If this
happens, ask the person if he’d like a drink or pick up the
conversation later. If the person wants to talk later, work out a time
and give him your business card or write down your information on a
note card. It’s always possible the person is tired and just needs a
little time to rest.
To
network effectively at a conference, keep conversations two-way instead
of one-way, keep an open mind, refrain from judgment and watch body
language. Agents, editors and writers remember the person who listened tothem instead of the person who drove away his colleagues.
Regina Allen
is a fiction writer who lives in Exeter, Rhode Island with her cat,
Isis. She is a member of the Speculative Literature Foundation,
www.speculativeliterature.org. Currently, Regina is working on a
science fiction novella and collaborating on a medical thriller with
suspense author, Joel Ross (www.joelross.net). You can send information
on conferences, retreats or workshops with two months’ advance notice
at regall649@msn.com.
National
WOW! Women on Writing Conference
San Bruno, California, March 5, 2005
The conference will celebrate International Women’s Day
For early bird admission of $60 apply by January 28; General admission: $60.
For more information contact: WOW! Women on Writing Conference, Skyline College,
3300 College Drive, Room 1317, San Bruno, CA 94066
Telephone: (650) 738-4324
Website: http://www.smccd.net/accounts/skywow
Minnesota Northwood Writers Conference
Bemidji, Minnesota, June 19-24, 2005
Conference fee: $425; early registration: $399
The workshops are limited to thirteen participants, evening readings,
one-on-one consultations and more. The conference focuses on fiction,
poetry, creative nonfiction and scriptwriting.
For more information contact: Minnesota Northwoods Writers Conference
(MNWC) Bemidji State University Box 04, 1500 Birchmont Drive NE,
Bemidji, MN 56601-2699
Telephone: (218) 755-2068
Email: writersconference@bemidjistate.edu
Website: http://www.bemidjistate.edu/writersconference
The Symposium for Professional Food Writers
White Sulphur Springs, West Virginia, March 16-20, 2005
The symposium is limited to 90 professional food writers and editors.
Includes workshops, private group coaching sessions, open readings and roundtables.
For more information contact: Lynn Swann, The Greenbrier, 200 West Main Street,
White Sulphur Springs, WV 24986
Telephone: (800) 624-6070
Sandhills Writers Conference
Augusta, Georgia, March 17-19, 2005
Reserve by February 4. The conference includes manuscript critiques, workshops, craft sessions and lectures.
For more information contact: Anthony Kellman, Augusta State University,
2500 Walton Way, Augusta, GA 30904
Telephone: (706) 737-1500
Email: akellman@aug.edu
Website: http://www.sandhills.aug.edu
Robert Frost Poetry Festival
Key West, FL, April 15-17, 2005
The festival includes a poetry workshop and contests.
For more information, contact: Heritage House Museum, 410 Caroline Street,
Key West, FL 33040
International
Writers’ Week in Iceland
May 26-June 3, 2005 and June 6-June 14, 2005
Fees: $2,850 single, $2,950 double, $700 deposit due March 5
For information contact: Iceland Writers’ Week, P.O. Box 187, Minnesota, MN 56264
Telephone: (507) 872-6950
Website: http://www.icelandworkshops.com
Email: icelandworkshop@yahoo.com |
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