Writing the Story of Your Life (or Anyone Else's)

by Christina Hamlett

Truth is stranger than fiction.

Just ask anyone who has ever been interrupted in mid-story by someone exclaiming, "That's incredible! Nothing like that has ever happened to me!"

Even if it did, the voice and perspective we each bring to the recitation of life's various tragedies and triumphs would be markedly different.

Personal memoirs, whether for publication in magazines or full-length books, can exist in multiple forms -- humor, travel, confession, inspiration, etc. Whether it's your own story or the experiences of a colorful relative, such narratives still need to address one or more of the three "R" themes inherent in popular fiction: Reward, Revenge, and Release. Likewise, the purpose of such stories runs parallel to the three "E"s of commercial publication: to Entertain, to Educate, and to Enlighten. The test of a marketable manuscript of memories? If you can't define it with at least one "R" and one "E," you probably don't have enough substance to fill -- and sell -- a book.

It should also be remembered that unless you acquire exclusive dibs on a celebrity biography, the investment of time spent in compiling scintillating data on your subject isn't likely to be reflected in a high paycheck or a publisher's fervent plea for you to follow up in six months with, "Aunt Ethel: The Sequel." If it's your own story you're telling, of course, there looms the amusing challenge of deciding at what point this work-in-progress should draw to a close; who's to say your best chapter of the bunch has yet to be scripted by the universe?

Reality Check

Let's face it: Some people have tediously boring lives. Unfortunately, many of them are also possessed of egos which compel them to think their memoirs should be documented for posterity. These are the kind of subjects whose stories -- if they were on film -- would play to mostly empty seats, the occupants having wandered off to the lobby for popcorn and Milk Duds with the reasonable assurance they wouldn't miss much. If you think that this description might even apply to you, penning memoirs probably isn't your best avenue for expression.

On the other hand, people who have accomplished the impossible, survived the incredible, and triumphed over the unimaginable are typically unpretentious about it. I once spent almost two hours talking to an elderly lady about the quality of health care provided at her retirement residence when she casually remarked, "What a lovely shade of blue you're wearing, dear. You know, I lost a sweater that very same color the night the Andrea Doria went down..."

"The Andrea Doria?" I gasped in surprise, suddenly awake at this intriguing revelation.

"Oh, it was really nothing to make a big fuss about," she insisted, as if evacuation from a sinking ship was nothing out of the ordinary.

Nothing?! I couldn't help but wonder whether she was trying to objectify what she deemed her own minor role or to keep such recollections in a safe, manageable state: the past. Now obviously, these are the kind of people who should be pitching their journals to publishing houses...or at least contracting with a skilled ghostwriter to do it for them.

Granted, not every life experience can -- or should -- be published. Like the above test of "R's and "E"s, you need to consider the attention span of your target audience: is yours a tale that will keep them riveted until the final credits...or compel them to go see what's playing next door instead?

I Remember It Well

If you're going to write memoirs, you have three critical obligations: (1) to tell the truth, (2) to tell it well, and (3) to not tell so much that it puts readers to sleep.

(1) Study any children's history book from the 1950s and you come away with a bright-eyed Pollyanna view of America's early days. Pick up a 1990s text and it's the flip side of the human condition, demonstrating that not only were the "bad" guys not all that bad but the "good" guys weren't always on ivory pedestals. How pure or how venal your real-life characters (and you) are depicted in print depends on the objective of the book and the permission of the person encouraging you to write it.

(2) It's nice to write from the heart but it also requires talent. Don't lose yourself so much in gut-wrenching sentimentality that you let your craft get sloppy. Memoir-writing needs to strike a fine balance between being objective (for reader identification) and subjective (for your own peace of mind). Enlist the aid of unbiased readers during the project to ensure that you haven't gone for cheap run-over-the-family-cat tricks to elicit an emotional response.

(3) Chart an outline for the project just as you would for a work of fiction. Give your story a beginning, middle, and end. It also helps to start the story at the right place, which isn't necessarily Day One from the Womb. While the influences of childhood unquestionably shape our reactions to the adult world, no one is going to sit through 300+ pages of rambling adolescence to eventually see a quick-thinking, grown-up ensign save his shipmates from a fiery explosion. Start your story with a bang. Start it with the explosion.

Can They Relate?

Suffice it to say, there has to be something for readers to identify with. Not surprisingly, that "something" usually takes the form of triumph-over-tragedy. The bad news is that the market is currently inundated with I-Survived-Great-Suffering-and So-Can-You books. To get noticed by an editor in this day and age -- and chosen genre -- either your suffering or your solution has to be powerfully unique.

Whether it's the story of a young wife/mother enduring the death of her skating partner/husband or a tell-all account of Hollywood's secrets by a popular celebrity, readers have always had a zeal to learn how other people survive their problems, problems which bear some connection -- however obscure -- to their own. One has only to wander through the self-help section of any bookstore and count how many volumes deal with dysfunctional families, roving spouses, tyrannical bosses, and a precarious economy. (When, for instance, was the last time you saw anything titled, "Giddy New Ways to Enjoy All Your Free Time and Happiness"?)

Bottom line: If they can't relate, they won't buy.

Research

It's not enough to just transcribe reminiscences about surviving disaster, finding validation in social work, or rediscovering romance an ocean away. If you're going to write the story of a life -- yours or anyone else's -- you need to flesh it out with good old-fashioned details surrounding the circumstances in which it unfolded. Writers who have dabbled in genealogy are already well-versed in the fact that just about anything that has ever happened in public is going to be documented somewhere in a public record. Whether it's government, real estate, church, military, or media, you have a wealth of material at your fingertips to bring Aunt Ethel's adventures to life, juxtaposing her particular situation and mind-set against her hometown, her country, her generation.

Where to Sell

Unless you're already famous, the market for personal memoirs is as tight a door to squeeze through as any other genre. Don't despair, though. In the course of writing your book, take some of those anecdotes and slice-of-life vignettes and start pitching them to local newspapers and magazines which accept freelance essays. (Remember: the shorter it is, the better its chance of being printed. Be mindful of word-count requirements and initially aim toward the lower end.) The purpose of this exercise is two-fold; it's not only a boost to your self-esteem but also demonstrates that someone besides you and your mother think the story is newsworthy material.

If your book is being written about someone else, there are obviously legal and contractual concerns that need to be addressed. Have subsidiary rights been discussed before the project commenced? Does your subject have authorization to order revisions? Have releases been signed for the use of accompanying photographs? What if -- heaven forbid -- the star of the story dies before it's completed? Will that person's heirs have any say-so in disclosures, distribution, or adaptation to film? Even if it's your beloved Aunt Ethel who doesn't have an evil lawsuit in her entire frail body, you still need to put such conditions in writing and have the contents reviewed by an attorney.

When you're ready to contact a book publisher, check out the Non-Fiction subject index at the back of Writer's Market. Don't just stop at the (very short) "Autobiography" or "Memoirs" listings, either. Could your story find a home in the Parenting or Ethnic markets? Are you a political or former military figure? Don't rule out Regional publishers, either, or University presses. While the pay may be low in the more specialized markets, the satisfaction of putting a personal story in the hands of readers is invaluable, not to mention providing a legacy for generations to come.

--CH
©Christina Hamlett