Bargain Boxes

by George Laing

I was delighted with Mort's gift to me of a diamond-studded belly-button brush (for I too have everything) but my joy at her thoughtful gift could not compare with the utter delight that showed on Mort's face as she stripped the paper from the package.

It was late in the afternoon, the shops were beginning to close and I still hadn't bought my wife a 50th wedding anniversary-cum-Christmas present. I mean, what do you buy for a woman who has absolutely everything, i.e. -- me.

Across the street, through the gloom and the flurries of snow, a set of Christmas fairy lights in a shop window caught my eye. They danced and flickered through the darkness like fairies. The shop was new -- it had only opened the month before.

I was entranced -- suddenly, I felt like a small child again. The winking, blinking lights drew me like iron-filings to a magnet. Without thinking, I crossed the snow-covered street and, before I knew it, I was staring at the fantastic range of goods laid out in the window display. Above me, the shop's time-set neon sign crackled into multicoloured life. It read:

Caskets 'r' Us

They sure were -- I'd never seen such a range of coffins and urns in my life. There were polished-oak ones, walnut ones with gold knobs, pre-formed MDF ones -- oh, I could go on all day. They had everything you could think of, or need, for a stylish send-off.

Just then, a man inside the shop placed a poster on the window. Apparently, the post-Christmas sale was beginning pre-Christmas, there and then, and there were Bargain Boxes galore at 50% off marked prices. Well, I was never one to pass up a snip, and I stepped inside.

Morticia, my wife, was always terribly fond of Danish-designed teak and it didn't take me long to make my selection. The salesman smiled when I told him it was a special gift for my nearest and dearest. I accepted his kind offer of free gift-wrapping and arranged delivery for the early hours of Christmas morning.

Morticia 'oohed' and 'aahed' when the huge parcel arrived, as arranged. I was delighted with Mort's gift to me of a diamond-studded belly-button brush (for I too have everything) but my joy at her thoughtful gift could not compare with the utter delight that showed on Mort's face as she stripped the paper from the package.

"What is it?" she squealed -- just before she died.

At last: I'd bought her something she'd a use for. And boy, did she look good in teak. Quite made my day.

-- GL
©2000 George Laing

George Laing, a 56-year-old Scot, spends most of his time as a self-employed pet-supplies shop owner. He began writing at the age of 50 as a way to "relax a bit" after undergoing heart-bypass surgery.

Several of his articles have been published in the UK's Cat World magazine and national press, and many of his poems and short stories have been published in the smaller literary magazines. "Bargain Boxes" is his first story published online and in the U.S.

You may contact George Laing at GEORGELAING@glaing3.fsnet.co.uk