The DOs and DON'Ts of the Query Packet

by Lila Guzmán

Editor, "Ask the Author"
Contributing Editor, Writer Online

From "Ask the Author," a free weekly e-newsletter for writers:

Question of the Week: "I'm ready to send out queries on my novel. What should I do to put my best foot forward?

Let's start positive, with DOs:

1. Be professional. As flash fiction editor for Writer Online, I often get letters starting with "Hi, Lila" as if the writer were my best friend on earth. A query letter is like a first date, so be on your best behavior. You want to make a good impression so there will be a second date.

2. Be passionate. You must communicate your passion for the subject matter and transfer it to the agent. If you're not excited about what you've written, why should an agent care?

3. Use forceful language. Do a grammar check to eliminate passive voice. I use "Grammatik." Avoid words that weaken, words like "I think,""I believe," "I hope" or "probably."

4. Get a second opinion. Before you submit the query letter, have someone you trust, someone with a keen eye, look it over. Ideally, this person will not have read a single word of your novel. If the query letter befuddles that person, rewrite it.

5. Know what kind of book you've written. I know that sounds silly, but go to book stores and spend time deciding where your book will fit. Then submit to agents who handle similar material. Agents are looking for something unique, BUT not too bizarre. They want to feel comfortable with your story line. (Maybe that's why the Romeo-and-Juliet theme has been done to death.) See if you can compare your novel to something they know. Pandora's Clock was Hot Zone meets "Speed." When Carol Thurston pitched The Eye of Horus, her query letter stated that it was similar to The English Patient in structure.

6. Target agents who are looking for the kind of book you write. Don't send The Witch Next Door, a pro-Wicca children's book, to an agent who just marketed five Christian Romances. Read the dedication page of books similar to yours. Authors often thank their agents. Send query letters to those agents.

7. Research the agents before you submit. Beware! There are many, many con-artists out there ready to separate you from your money. Anyone can say he's a literary agent. I went undercover for the Attorney General in the Edit Ink investigation and was horrified to learn that some "literary agents" are mere fronts for unethical book doctors. I could tell you stories in a future issue that will make your hair stand on end. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, NEVER PAY AN AGENT. No matter how desperate you feel, NEVER PAY AN AGENT. An agent pays you out of advance money and/or royalties, not the other way around.

8. Submit only what the agent requests. Most agents will ask for the query letter, synopsis, and first three chapters. Some will only want one chapter, or two.

9. Always include SASE. If you do not include a stamped, self-addressed envelope, your manuscript is destined for the trash can.

10. Make your submission envelope look professional. I always write out the agent's address. This avoids the printed label that says, "I'm sending out a zillion of these things and I just happened to reach your name on the AAR list." If an agent is on the AAR list, the agent is legitimate.

DON'Ts

1. Don't sound desperate. I was an officer in the United States Navy. At Officer Candidate School, the following was drilled into us: Even if you don't have a clue what you're doing, act like you do. Words to live by as you write your query letter. Don't say anything that makes you look bad. David Hale Smith told the following anecdote: One of his clients called, saying (in a voice of high-pitched desperation) that he needed the advance check fast because the phone was about to be disconnected. This was definitely not a real confidence builder.

2. Don't reveal your age. Imagine for a moment that you are a literary agent. You just received two query letters from two equally talented writers. One is a Gen. Xer; the other, a ninety-year-old. Who are you going to pick? Liza Dawson said, "You want a sense, as an agent, that the writer is in it for the long haul."

3. Don't misspell the agent's name. I've been Lilly, Lela, Lola, Lulu. Shoot! I've had more aliases than an outlaw. Much to my surprise, one of my short stories was published by my evil twin sister, "Liza" Guzmán. If you're not sure of the spelling or which title to use, pick up the phone and call to verify the information -- but don't start a long-winded conversation. Just get the correct spelling, say thank you and good-bye. If the agent has a web site, you can get the name there and save yourself the price of a phone call. Some people get offended if you don't use their fancy titles. Frankly, I think they should get a life. "Mr." or "Ms." is close enough.

4. Don't misspell anything in the query letter, the synopsis, or first three chapters. After Al Gore said he invented the Internet, Dan Quayle quipped, "And I invented the spell check." Don't forget to use "Dan Quayle's spell check," but also get a friend to read behind you. (For those you who are normal and not political junkies like Lila, while Dan Quayle was Vice President of the United States, he visited a schoolroom and misspelled "potato" as "potatoe." The press had a field day.)

— LG
© Lila Guzmán, September 1999