How to Handle Your Phobias

by Roger Pao

Wear rubber gloves and scour
with vinegar and baking soda
and lemon juice.
Run twice through the washer
and hang on clothespins.
Fold and sort,
group into categories --
large, medium, and small.
Catalogue, like recipes,
and list all ingredients --
e.g., the type of horror and dread.
Alphabetize and index,
color code for convenience.
Place in a glass bin,
the size of a breadbox.
Use two layers of clear tape
to seal the edges.
And when friends inquire,
just say it was a gift
from the in-laws.

-- RP
© 2000 Roger Pao

Roger Pao is a student at Duke University in Durham, North Carolina. Most recently, his poems have appeared in The Bay Review, Footprints Magazine, Gumball Poetry, In the Grove Magazine, Little Brown Poetry, and The Paumanok Review. Currently, he edits The Political Intellect, the newsletter of the Political Science SIG of Mensa.