Ask Michael

by Michael Bugeja

This month, we have questions about rhyme and of poetry from readers at various stages of their writing careers. I answer these and other questions in depth in Poet's Guide (Story Line Press), but I can respond more individually in this forum. So here goes:
Q I have been exploring rhyming lately, and I've studied many ways to do it. But I'm very interested in getting "internal rhymes" to work; that is, making rhymes happen transparently inside my poems. Could you suggest a few poets whose work demonstrates curious, engaging internal rhyming? Poets I might learn from?

A Interesting question, because if the best internal rhyme is "transparent" (as it should be), then the poet won't be known for that literary device. Conversely, anyone who is known for it -- whose name pops up immediately when one says "internal rhyme" -- would be misusing that sound effect as a gimmick.

I encourage you to reread the masters like John Donne and Emily Bronte -- not to mention standbys like Shakespeare, Milton and Wordsworth -- because they use such rhyme often. Any accomplished poet does. You might reread the works of Sharon Olds and Larry Lieberman, for example, famous free verse poets. You'll discover that they use internal rhyme to great effect.

Let's see how "transparent" internal rhyme actually can be by scanning the opening lines of "Air and Angels" by John Donne:

Twice or thrice had I lov'd thee,
Before I knew thy face or name;
So in a voice, so in a shapeless flame
Angels affect us oft, and worshipp'd be ...

Sure, you can catch the "twice or "thrice" in the first line. But did you catch the internal slant rhyme in lines 2-3 "face"/"voice"/"-less"? How about "affect"/"oft"/"worshipp'd"?

You can read the entire poem by Donne at
http://library.utoronto.ca/www/utel/rp/poems/donne15.html

You often see the same types of moves in Emily Bronte's work, as in these famous opening lines: "No coward soul is mine,/ No trembler in the world's storm-troubled sphere. ..."

Consider the multitude of sounds effects, including alliteration, in her second line, which features another slant internal rhyming tone: "no trembler"/storm-troubled."

You can read the entire poem at:
http://library.utoronto.ca/www/utel/rp/poems/brontee3c.html

I suppose one of the best contemporary poets using "transparent" internal rhyme is Andrea Hollander Budy. You should check out her collection, House Without a Dreamer (Story Line Press). You'll find internal sound effects in almost every poem.

I'll boldface a few internal rhymes from an excerpt of her poem "Weeds":

The last time I saw my mother
alive, I remember driving the familiar
miles to the hospital, sensing that this
might be the last time, and suddenly seeing
everything as if I'd never see it again:
houses, yards, fences, trees, weeds that
grew up along the edge of one driveway. ...

The best way to rhyme internally is to be able to spot the device, however transparent, in others' work. Then you have to know the art and craft of poetry so well that you are not consciously trying to insert internal rhyme. It should flow freely from you, the way notes do when musicians improvise.

The best internal rhyme is the most natural. Not only are readers unaware of it, but also authors. Its source is passion, zeal, and other strong emotion. Its vehicle is the genuine voice.

Q I have several manuscripts out to magazines for consideration of publication. I am a relatively new poet. I'm wondering how long I should wait to hear from a magazine editor before I should contact him/her about where my manuscript is in their reading process. Should I wait two months? Six months? Not bother an editor at all? I hear so many different stories. Thanks for clarifying the "waiting" process.

A This is a common question, and you shouldn't be worried about asking it. Most of us have learned the hard way, bugging editors early in our careers after 4-6 weeks. My book Poet's Guide deals with the issue in depth.

But here are some general rules:

1. Each magazine has a different response time, so there is no general answer to your question.

2. Check out the stated response time in directories like Poet's Market. Then double it. That's usually the real response time.

3. Some magazines don't read in summer and take longer between Thanksgiving through New Year's Day, because of the holidays and especially if the magazine is published out of a university. Editors are on semester break.

4. After six to eight months, feel free to send the editor a short letter asking about the status of the manuscript and enclosing a self-addressed stamped postcard, so she can get back to you. (The short letter is known as an "inquiry," as opposed to a "query," which is a letter asking an editor for permission to submit a manuscript.)

5. Don't telephone the editor to ask about the status of your manuscript.

6. Submit elsewhere and forget it if your inquiry isn't answered within a month.

For the record, some magazines keep my work for a year or more. I usually don't concern myself about a manuscript's whereabouts. The goal is to compose enough poems so that you don't worry about the few you have making the rounds.

Good luck with your work.

-- MB
© 1998 Michael Bugeja

References:
Andrea Hollander Budy, House Without a Dreamer