The Curmudgeon Speaks
Summer Showers: The Dreaded Wedding Variety

By Pamela Beers

It's that time of year again. Summer is a delightful season except for showers and I don't mean the kind that fall from the sky in the form of H2O. It's those dreaded wedding showers that take up a good portion of a gorgeous summer day. The kind of day where I'd rather be outside riding my horses, gardening, or reading a good book on the beach. One of those perfect afternoons complete with azure blue skies, puffy white clouds and bright sunshine. The kind of day that lasts such a short while before upstate New York winter hits us with temperatures in the single digits or below.

So, in this climate, I tend to wince when I receive a shower invitation that cuts into summer moments of fun in the sun. Why not have showers in the evening? It seems much more practical to me. Most people are ready to sit down to wine punch and hors d' oeuvres after being outside enjoying their day. There is so much more to talk about with my fellow partygoers in the evening, as conversation usually turns to the daytime activities we just enjoyed. At least in the evening, there is usually more time to relax and enjoy everyone's company. I also look forward to being fed; then I won't have to fix dinner. So I have ulterior motives for evening showers.   

 During those daytime showers, I've noticed that everyone keeps looking at their watch wondering when the intended bride is going to open her gifts. After the gifts are opened everyone slowly migrates to the door as they say their good-byes to the bride's friends and family giving out a silent "hooray" as soon as they get out the door. I think I saw one person actually kick up her heels on the way to her car. 

The last afternoon shower I attended was between 1:30 and 4:00 in the afternoon. It was a cool, breezy day, but sunny and lovely. A perfect day for horseback riding, golf, tennis or whatever floats your boat. Because of the time, I was peeved that I even had to be there. I could have sent a gift, but the bride's mother wanted me there. When I arrived at the designated site, I expected a light lunch and some sort of liquid refreshment. I was hungry. There was punch, coffee, tea and an assortment of crème puffs and a cake. I commented on the lovely dessert tray and wondered why it was set out before lunch. I was told that the crème puffs and cake were "it."  I wanted to take my gifts and go home.

No more wedding showers for me. They take too much time away from my day. Next time I'll send a gift. The only shower I will go to is the one connected to my bathtub or I'll go outside for a walk in the rain, enjoying the H2O falling from the sky as it cools my body and nourishes my senses. Because curmudgeons are known to be frugal, I may even go outside during a summer shower with a bar of soap. 

Suggested Reading: Pieces of My Mind by Andy Rooney